7 screen-free tantrum resets and boredom busters for toddlers

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In this life, some things are unavoidable. You know, death, taxes, and toddler tantrums– just to name a few. 

Tantrums are shame-inducers for many parents because we’ve bought into the perception that our kid throwing a fit somehow makes us bad parents, but in reality tantrums are necessary for brain development and therefore serve a very important purpose (you can read more about your toddler’s brain during tantrums here). And while, yes, we want to minimize tantrums, we also want to validate our toddlers’ emotions and help them learn to work through those big feelings. 

To me, the most tempting thing to do when our toddler is in full-on tantrum mode is to take out a phone or turn on the TV and pull up a video, but another tantrum is inevitable when the video has to eventually be turned off, and as I wrote in my last post, Why We Quit Cocomelon, we’ve also been making a conscious effort to cut screen time – one of the main reasons being that there seems to be a correlation between the amount of screen time our toddler gets and the amount of tantrums she has. 

So we had to figure out a way in which we could help our toddler “reset” from a tantrum without a screen and direct her energy and focus toward being creative and engaging in play. I also get some, “Well, what do you do with her if you don’t watch TV?” And these activities are also great for general boredom, which we all know can be a cause of tantrums. 

We’ve tried out many different screen-free tantrum resets with various levels of success, but here are some of the easiest and most engaging options I’ve found. 

Give toys a bath

This is one of my favorites because it’s so easy, keeps our 2-year-old completely engaged for a long time, and is essentially mess-free. I just put down a towel and fill a pan with soapy water, sponges, and some plastic toys and say, “Oh, no! Your toys are dirty! Can you come give them a bath?” This activity is always one that will keep her attention for about 20-30 minutes (sometimes longer!), and I love listening to the way she pretends with her toys while she’s “bathing” them– so cute! 

Fishing for pom poms

I usually like to do this on a towel or in the bathtub, but sometimes it happens at the table, and I just deal with the water mess afterward and tell myself at least then I know the table is clean. This activity is engaging and great for scooping skills. When we’re done, we dump the pom poms in a pillowcase, tie it off, and throw it in the dryer for about 15 minutes, and they’re good as new!

In case you’re wondering, we love these placemats that my mother-in-law got for us– so useful and super easy to clean! They’re also a great conversation starter for our toddler at mealtimes.

Feed the ____.

Here’s another pom pom activity that can bring 30+ minutes of fun in our house. I saw this on Pinterest around Halloween time, so it was “Feed the pumpkin,” but you could make it almost anything, as long as you can draw its face/mouth. I made one on an old coffee creamer bottle and one on a tin coffee canister. While our toddler loves both of them, the smaller opening on the coffee creamer bottle requires a little more coordination, but the coffee canister can be easily opened and dumped without assistance, so she can play over and over without the added frustration of needing to call for help from an adult.

Magnets on cookie sheet 

This one is always a big hit with our 2-year-old and every other toddler that ever comes to our house. We use these magnetic letters typically, but any magnets will work. I will say that, as a parent and former teacher, I do sometimes have to resist temptation to make it a “learning” activity. I know logically that young toddlers learn more through play rather than direct instruction, but it can be difficult to let that go. Try to remember to just let them play independently, rather than trying to micromanage *cough* I mean, teach.

Paper pieces craft

We originally did this one as a Valentine’s craft, but our toddler loved it so much that we now do it with all sorts of different shapes. I have a little plastic bag with construction paper pieces always at the ready. It’s great practice for gluing and sticking, and the final product is always so cute! 

Oobleck

Okay, this one is a *little* messy and does require a bit more prep, but I’m not exaggerating when I tell you my two year old will play with this stuff, independently, for upwards of an hour, so to me, it’s well worth the hassle. It’s just a 2:1 ratio of cornstarch (you can buy it in bulk here for super cheap) and water. You can add some fun by mixing in some food coloring with the water before combining with the cornstarch. Oobleck is a non-Newtonian substance which means it has properties of both a liquid and a solid, and is super fun to play with (even for the adults around). It does look messy, but everything washes off super easily with just a little water. We like to do this outside if we can, and I usually keep a container of water and a washcloth nearby when we have Oobleck days to easily wipe little hands. While Oobleck is definitely not a clean activity, it looks way messier than it is, and clean-up is so easy. And this is taste-safe (note my kid’s green mouth), which is always a plus when you’ve got a toddler who likes to put everything in her mouth.

You can really prolong the activity by having the toys take a bath AFTER oobleck for fun and easy clean-up.

Plain ol’ coloring OR Markers on laminated sheet 

In the age of Pinterest and Instagram when we can constantly see other moms doing out-of-the-box, creative activities with their kids, it’s easy to forget that simple things, like just coloring, still exist. However, there is nothing that can serve as a quicker calm-down activity for our toddler than coloring. Sometimes we find free printable coloring sheets online, but I got tired of buying printer ink so often and decided to use my laminator on a few coloring pages, and more often than not, we just give her one of the laminated sheets and some washable markers to color. I simply rinse the laminated page in the sink, and it’s good to go for the next time– this has saved us lots of time…and printer ink. 

We also got one of these giant coloring pages for my daughter’s birthday party, and she was still wanting to color on it for weeks afterward. 

PS. I was gifted this laminator by my husband’s aunt when I was a teacher, and I’m obsessed with it. I use it all the time for preserving papers that little hands can easily bend–everything from crafts to board game cards have been laminated in our house. I also made a cheap fillable calendar with just a piece of paper and my laminator. 

So, what do we do with our kids if we don’t watch (much) TV? The answer is usually play. From years of research, we know toddlers learn best when we let them explore and use their natural curiosity (i.e. play), so I’ve been intentional about providing an environment that’s set up to encourage independent play. However, there are times when we need a reset, and there are times that necessitate shaking things up to combat any boredom, and that’s where these activities come in – they are a tool, not a norm.

Have any favorite screen-free activities? Let me know in the comments or shoot me an email! I’d love to hear from you.

Why we quit Cocomelon

Screen time is perhaps one of the biggest shame triggers for today’s parents. So many of us are constantly faced with things that make giving our toddlers our undivided attention pretty much impossible, and when a moment of quiet is needed, turning on the TV is often the easiest and most effective way to keep our kids occupied. Most of us also know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screens until 2 and that screen time should be limited each day, with specific limits based on age, but for many parents, following those recommendations isn’t always practical, and in some cases, it’s nearly impossible. 

When parents decide to expose their baby to television for the first time, there’s not typically much thought put into what exactly is being shown. I mean obviously there’s a big difference between showing your kid Texas Chainsaw Massacre and showing them Daniel Tiger, but I’d wager that most people pull up Netflix, select the Kids profile, and just pick whatever is most popular. That’s what we did. 

Enter Cocomelon.

I will admit that we used to be huge Cocomelon fans. It kept our toddler entertained which helped us get stuff done. It kept her quiet on long car rides. She was learning songs. She could even identify all the different characters by name at 15 months old. While we obviously knew it was screen time and that screen time should be limited, we thought it was at least a good use of screen time. 

Sure, she’d scream when we turned it off. Sure, it was sometimes the only thing that could stop tantrums. Sure, she’d wake up in the middle of the night sometimes crying for “Coco.” Sure, she’d get up yelling “JJ! JJ!” almost every morning by 5am. But we thought this was all normal toddler stuff. 

My husband and I aren’t typically big TV-watchers (during the day anyway), so our oldest daughter was never really exposed to much screen time until she became more mobile and we started needing to keep her entertained and safe (ya know, since mobile babies have no sense of self-preservation and have a tendency to get into or on top of anything and everything if they aren’t occupied). So when she was around 9 months, we started letting her watch Cocomelon daily. Again, we knew that screen time was not recommended for kids as young as she was, but, hey, we’ve all got to survive. I needed to make dinner. I needed to get work done. I needed something to keep her occupied and out of trouble. I needed time at dinner to talk and connect with my husband without my kid screaming at me. So out came the iPad, and on came the TV.  I knew that these were not sustainable habits, but it seemed like if it was something that we were just doing occasionally, it wouldn’t have too much of an impact. 

By the time our daughter was 15 months, we were able to cut the screens at mealtimes, but throughout the day and during our bedtime routine, it was what we relied on to help keep her occupied and calm (maybe “entranced” is a better word). We couldn’t be in the car for more than 10 minutes without her screaming unless we had Cocomelon playing on one of our phones. We even went so far as to screen record 40 minutes of an episode on one of our iPads so that, on longer car trips, we wouldn’t need to use the internet connection from our phones and there wouldn’t be any ads that she couldn’t skip. It seemed like she couldn’t sit still through a diaper change without Cocomelon on the TV or one of our phones. We couldn’t get her dressed in the mornings or into pajamas at bedtime without it either. It didn’t help that I was pregnant and exhausted and just wanted some peace and quiet throughout the day. To make matters worse, she’d sometimes wake up in the middle of the night demanding to watch Cocomelon, (before you ask, yes, we tried letting her “cry it out,” but she is so strong-willed that she would cry for over an hour until we’d go in and get her) and the only thing that could calm her down was watching “JJ” in our bed until she fell back to sleep eventually. 

Then her screen time went through the roof when the new baby came. Our oldest was 18 months old when her sister was born, so in order to keep her from climbing on the furniture, getting into things she shouldn’t be, or otherwise putting herself in harm’s way while I was nursing, changing, and caring for our new baby, I turned on the TV.  We would try shows other than Cocomelon from time to time (mostly when I felt like I’d literally lose my mind if I had to hear those songs again), but nothing else seemed to keep her happy for too long, so I shrugged and thought, Well, if she likes it, whatever. 

A few months before my daughter would turn two, a friend of mine sent me an Instagram profile, @jerricasannes. Upon first looking at her profile, she seemed a bit…extreme? I mean, I didn’t think it was possible that any kids’ shows could be that bad for a baby. Then I started reading her posts more closely and realized that she was hitting the nail right on the head when it came to my baby and screen time, and more specifically, my baby and Cocomelon.

As I browsed Sannes’s Instagram page, I watched her story highlight titled “Cocomelon,” where she points out that scene changes occur every 2 seconds in most Cocomelon videos. I thought, No way–all of them do that? Honestly, I’d never really sat down and watched it. It was mostly just background noise for me while I got things done. But I looked up multiple different songs, and sure enough, almost every single scene change happens within 2-3 seconds in each video I watched. And after my own mini-experiment, I felt incredibly overstimulated, so I could only imagine what it was doing to my toddler’s much less mature brain.

In her post about Cocomelon, Sannes writes, “​​Cocomelon is so hyper-stimulating that it actually acts as a drug, a stimulant. The brain receives a hit of dopamine from screen-time, and it seems that the stronger the “drug” (aka the level of stimulation a show delivers), the stronger the “hit”. This leads to 1) young children experiencing very real symptoms of addiction and withdrawal, obviously leaving them completely dysregulated, and 2) a general discomfort in the speed of everyday life.” After reading that post, I realized that my toddler was quite literally addicted to Cocomelon and decided we needed to do something about it. 

After seeing that Jerrica Sannes has a website (raisewildflowers.com), I decided to check it out and found that she has a ton of research about screen time linked, the most startling of which links excessive screen time to children presenting symptoms of both autism and ADHD. My children are genetically predisposed to both autism and ADHD, so that convinced me all the more that we needed to make a change with regard to screen time. On Sannes’s website, she also has a FREE TV detox course that takes you through how to replace excessive screen time with unstructured play. My favorite thing about her message is that she recognizes that parents have a lot going on and doesn’t advocate for mothers and fathers to be constantly available to and/or playing with their kids; rather, she instructs parents to “do less” by providing a safe environment that invites unstructured play, which is what we know, from years and years of research, is the way kids learn.

We decided to cut Cocomelon (and other hyper-stimulating shows) out completely, and while the first 48 hours or so were rough, it was so worth it. At first, we weren’t being super stringent on drastically cutting down the amount of time she spent in front of a screen; we were simply cutting out Cocomelon and switching it up with shows like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and Bluey, both of which are recommended by Sannes as better shows for kids (you can read about her scoring process here). However, switching to these shows that aren’t highly stimulating worked to also cut down her screen time all together since she wasn’t so hyperfocused on the screen and would wander off away from the TV to go play. Yes, she still had lots of “JJ” tantrums throughout those first weeks, and the first two days especially, but she is now a much calmer and happier toddler. Yes, she still has tantrums and sometimes struggles with transitions, but she’s two, so that’s developmentally appropriate. She does not, however, wake up in the middle of the night or in the very early morning screaming for “JJ!” or “Coco!”. She sleeps better. She’s motivated to play independently. And best of all, she rarely asks for TV at all. 

The skeptic in me told me that maybe some of the positive results like fewer tantrums and better focus were just byproducts of her getting a little bit older, but time after time, I continue to see a correlation between the amount of screen time she gets and the amount of negative behaviors she exhibits. If, for whatever reason, she gets too much TV/screen time on any given day, without fail, she will have multiple tantrums that night and sometimes even into the next day, and she is less motivated to play on her own. We always end up having to do a “detox” of sorts to get her regulated again. 

I have to admit, we don’t follow all of the recommendations in the TV Detox course to the letter, mostly because I don’t have the time, energy, or money to put into buying all “Montessori” toys, but we have created a space that is more inviting for play, and we started a book and toy rotation which has seemed to really help with our daughter’s engagement in independent play. 

I must also be clear that we have not cut out screen time completely, nor is that what Sannes recommends in her course; rather, we’ve replaced overstimulating shows with more high-quality screen time. You can read more about what shows qualify as “high-quality” screen time here, but essentially, you’re looking for natural colors (rather than saturated primary colors), at least 4 seconds between scene changes, and shows without multiple different sounds and effects being used simultaneously. So…pretty much the exact opposite of everything that Cocomelon is. 

Currently, we’ve cut our screen time down to 15-25 minutes a day, most days, and we try to have two completely screen-free days a week. If you asked me a few months ago, I probably would’ve said a screen-free day would be absolutely out of the question if I were going to be able to get anything done, but I’m happy to say it is possible. Your toddler should be playing without the constant need to be entertained by another person or a screen, and setting up the right kind of environment and establishing good screen time habits has helped our toddler be able to do just that. 

My aim in writing this is not to shame parents who do let their little ones watch Cocomelon; rather, it is to show that if you notice a problem and want to try cutting out Cocomelon and/or cutting down on screen time in general to see if it has any positive effect, it can be done. My little Cocomelon addict went from upwards of 3 hours of screen time each day to mere minutes, if any, each day. I’m so proud of how far my girl has come, and cutting down drastically on screen time has really shifted the way in which I see my child– we can connect more meaningfully during quiet times and meals without constant stimulation from a screen, and I’m not constantly anticipating her tantrums when I have to turn the TV off or the iPad dies. 

What started out as a little experiment to see how Cocomelon affected my child turned into a complete lifestyle change that has benefited our whole family. I never could’ve expected to see the kind of change I did in my oldest daughter after simply cutting out a television show. The best part is: it doesn’t take any extra work from me because she’s now playing independently, and she’s learning and growing in the way toddlers are meant to—through unstructured play and exploration.

5 Winter Toddler Birthday Party Ideas (That Won’t Break the Bank)

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A few weeks back my oldest daughter turned 2, and since we weren’t able to have a first birthday party for her (thanks, covid), I wanted to make sure this one was special, but I also didn’t want to spend hundreds of dollars to rent a space at an indoor waterpark or bounce house center. I’ve seen some really fun, creative ideas for kids’ birthday parties on Pinterest, but almost all of them were outdoor activities, so I went to Instagram to ask for some winter/indoor-friendly ideas. Most of the responses I got were requests to share what others said because apparently I was not alone in not knowing what to do with my kid’s winter birthday, so I thought I’d go ahead and share some ideas that worked for us and some that we’ll likely use in the future too! 

Our daughter has been obsessed with dinosaurs since she was about 18 months, so we decided on a “Two-Rex” theme for her birthday. But even if you don’t want to do a dinosaur-themed party, I think most of these ideas can be adapted to fit tons of different themes. 

1. DIY Ring Toss

This one was probably the biggest hit for all the kids at the party (ranging in ages 1-11). We did a “Tricera-toss” which I found on Pinterest. I bought a pack of party hats, some glow stick bracelets, and a foam board from Dollar Tree. I then inexpertly painted something that sort of resembled a triceratops, duct-taped the hats on the foam board, and voila, the “Tricera-toss” was made. It was not the most beautiful, but it got the job done! Weeks later, my toddler still wants to play this game.

Ways to adapt for a different theme:

• Jungle theme: Rhino toss
• Frozen/Winter theme: Olaf/snowman toss 
• Princess theme: Unicorn toss
• Beach/Under the Sea theme: Narwhal toss

2. Hat decorating 

This was another Pinterest find, and it was so much fun! We called them “paleontologist hats,” but I bought these safari hats on Amazon and loaded up on letter and dinosaur stickers at Dollar Tree. The kids loved decorating these with their names and favorite dinosaurs. Some even used markers to draw pictures on their hats too! This was a little less fun for the older kids, but the toddlers and lower elementary kids had a blast with them. 

Ways to adapt for a different theme:

• Jungle theme: safari hats (that’s what these were intended to be, after all)
• Construction theme: Hard hats
• Firefighter theme: Fireman hats
• Any theme: grab some old-fashioned party hats and some stickers to go with your theme

3. Egg hunt

The idea for a dino egg hunt came from my friend, Elizabeth. We bought a giant bunch of easter eggs (we did not use them all and will now be set for Easter as well) and stuffed them with some candy and these small dinos. It was a huge hit and helped the kids burn off some energy while still being inside. We did have a pretty big space to work with, but it could definitely be doable in a smaller space. Since we had kids of a lot of different ages at our party, hiding the eggs while the little ones decorated hats was a great way to involve the older kids. We also had the kids use their hats as a container for the eggs they found, which I thought was pretty practical. 

Ways to adapt for a different theme:

• I honestly think you could do this with any theme. Obviously, not every animal hatches from eggs, but I don’t think any kids would care about that. If you really want to step up your game and have older kids, you could do more of a scavenger hunt, too!

4. Giant Coloring Page 

This was another idea from my friend Elizabeth (she is seriously the best!), and it was honestly my favorite because it’s still keeping my kids occupied weeks later. Linked here is the dinosaur coloring poster we used.  

I also found these dino molds and made dinosaur crayons for the kids to use on the big coloring page and as party favors. It was relatively simple, albeit time-consuming. I peeled the paper off the crayons and broke them into smaller bits so they’d fit in the molds, and put them in the oven at 200 degrees for about 20-25 minutes or until they looked melted. Before popping them out of the molds, I let them harden for probably an hour or two. They turned out so cute. I will say that I 100% recommend using Crayola crayons because the cheap ones took FOREVER to melt and didn’t turn out as well as the Crayola ones did.

You can definitely find various silicone molds that might fit your theme as well!

Ways to adapt for a different theme:

• Jungle/Animals coloring poster
• Unicorns coloring poster
• Under the sea coloring poster
• Mermaids coloring poster

5. Sensory tables/activity bins

This idea came from a friend who had an Under the Sea theme for her kids’ party, and we thought about using it this time around but decided to save it for next time. Many of us already have water/activity tables that our kids use, so why not put them to use at their birthday parties? There are so many different options, depending on how messy you and your party guests are willing to get! I would definitely recommend laying down a tarp, trash bags, or disposable table cloth under any activity tables for the inevitable mess that will be made. 

• Dino party: dino dig with sand (you could also blend up some Cheerios for taste-safe sand!)
• Under the sea: sandcastles, dig for sea creatures, find the seashells
• Construction zone with toy bulldozers, cranes, and sand (or taste-safe “dirt” from blended chocolate cookies/Oreos)
• “Car wash” for toy trucks and cars
• A swimming pool or ball pit (dry beans or Orbeez would be great “balls” for dolls or small figurines) for your child’s favorite characters. 

If you don’t have a water table, you could easily do this with an under-the-bed storage bin, too! 

Indoor parties for winter birthdays don’t have to be lame, and you certainly don’t have to spend tons of money on renting an indoor playground or waterpark. We had tons of fun at our toddler’s mostly DIY party!

Have any other winter party ideas? Leave a comment, shoot me an email, or hit me up @theanxiousmom.diaries on Instagram! Hope to hear from you soon!

6 Books Every Toddler Girl Needs in Her Personal Library

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I love reading and I knew I wanted to instill that same love for books in my kids. My mom actually threw me a children’s-book-themed baby shower (which was so cool, by the way!), so we were covered with many of the classics like The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Corduroy, The Velveteen Rabbit, and Green Eggs and Ham, but I knew I was having a girl and I really felt like her library was missing some representation of diverse and empowered females. I went searching and found some that were duds and some that we LOVE, and I thought I’d share the latter. Most of the books on this list are ones we have had and read to our oldest daughter since she was a baby, but she started really interacting with and loving them at about 12 months. 

1. A is for Awesome: 23 Iconic Women Who Changed the World by Eva Chen

Why we love it: This book showcases 23 different women of various professional and racial backgrounds–from both history and the present day. It’s got everyone from Beyonce to Malala Yusafzi to Queen Elizabeth the First. Female athletes, musicians, scientists, political activists, writers– you name a career field, and it’s probably here. I love that my daughters will grow up knowing the names of these strong women who have changed and continue to change the course of history. The book ends with, “…and X, Y, and Z are for EXTRAORDINARY YOU and the ZILLIONS of brilliant, brave adventures you will have,” and I sure am a sucker for a book that ends on an encouraging note. 

What it’s missing: I really wish there was some Latinx representation in this book because, at least from what I can tell, there is none. I also really dislike the fact that “V is for Venus,” a mythical goddess, and not a woman. Seems like a weird snub to Venus Williams (and literally any other female with a V name) to me.

2. Dear Girl,: A Celebration of Wonderful, Smart, Beautiful You! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Paris Rosenthal  

Why we love it: This book is so uplifting and adorable to boot! The artwork is a mix of both photographs/realistic graphics and cartoon drawings, so it’s fun to look at. It’s written as a love letter from parent to daughter and includes advice ranging from practical to fun, from silly to serious. I personally love the advice to “Look at yourself in the mirror. Say thank you to something that makes you YOU.” As I discussed in my last post, I’m trying to raise my girls to love themselves and their bodies, so I love the encouragement to celebrate rather than criticize ourselves. There are definitely a wide array of skin tones represented too, which is something I love to see in books that I read to my daughters! The ending of the book almost always makes me tear up, even after reading it hundreds of times: “Most of all, dear girl who I love, know that you can always always always… turn to me.”

3. Think Big, Little One by Vashti Harrison

Why we love it: This book has probably the widest range of representation of different races, ethnicities, and nationalities of any of our books. Both the artwork and language are simple, which makes reading it to littles who sometimes have very short attention spans a little easier.

What it’s missing: I hate to say it, but this one can be a little boring for me to read as a parent. I wish there was just a little more text for my own sake, but my girls don’t mind it one bit.  

4. Girls Can Do Anything! by Caryl Hart and Ali Pye

Why we love it: As you might guess from the title, this book encourages girls to dream big and be anything they want to be. Not only are a wide range of skin tones and hair types, styles, and colors represented, but different ability levels are represented as well, including a girl who uses a wheelchair and Karen Gaffney (the first person with Down Syndrome to complete a relay swim across the English Channel) is featured in the gallery of women in the last pages of the book. The refrain repeated throughout Girls Can Do Anything! is, “Girls are amazing. So shout it out loud– ‘I’m a GIRL! I’m FANTASTIC! I’m strong, brave, and proud!’” and we love this affirmation for our girls.

5. Goodnight, Numbers by Danica McKellar

Why we love it: While this book is not specifically geared toward girls, I think it’s important for all baby girls to have this book in their libraries because its goal is to “put your child on the path to a lifelong love of numbers,” and as we know, STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are still heavily dominated by males, and the idea that girls are inherently bad at math still somehow persists into 2022. This book goes through each number 1-10, showing a real life scene for each number (meal time, play time, bath time, etc.) and various items of that number’s quantity on each page. For example, the page for 8 shows a bedtime scene in which the mother is reading to her child. On the two-page spread, you can find eight flowers on the bedspread, a dog curled up at their feet with eight spots, a lampshade with eight diamonds, etc. This is one of my favorite books my girls have because it hits all the marks– families with many different skin tones are represented, there are both moms and dads pictured completing domestic tasks, and there are just so many different ways to interact with the book, like counting, identifying objects and colors, naming feelings, etc. In the author’s note at the end of the book, McKellar lists various ways you and your child can interact with the book as well. PS:  you might recognize the name of this author, as she appeared on the TV show The Wonder Years from 1988 to 1993 (along with various other roles since then), but what you might not know is that in addition to acting, she has a PhD in math—how cool is that? 

We also have and love Bathtime Mathtime: Shapes and Ten Magic Butterflies by the same author! 

6. I am Josephine (and I am a Living Thing) by Jan Thornhill and Jacqui Lee

Why we love it: We might be just a little partial to this book because our oldest daughter is named Josephine, but it’s one of her favorite books to just look at on her own because it’s got so many different animals and colors that she can identify. Again, this one is not specifically geared toward girls, but it does feature a girl (Josephine) going through various different classifications of living things (mammals, animals, human beings). Like I said, we love to expose our girls to STEM books, and the fact that this one has representations of various skin tones is another bonus. 

Happy reading, friends! Got any other book recommendations for young girls? Drop a comment or hit me up on Instagram @theanxiousmom.diaries! 

9 Essentials for Cloth Diapering Simply and on a Budget

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When I got pregnant with my first baby, my husband and I were both teachers. We knew raising a child could be a financial strain, especially on two teachers’ salaries, so we wanted to find ways to cut costs wherever we could. We also knew that disposable diapers can be a huge expense for parents, so after looking into it, we found that cloth diapering could be a smart money move for our new family.

Luckily for us, my brother and his wife have used cloth diapers with three of their children, so they were a wonderful resource for us when we were first starting out. I had so many questions, and I very much wanted to make cloth diapering work. I realize that not everyone has that type of support though, so I’m hoping this post can help you out if you’re interested in or new to the cloth diapering game but a little overwhelmed by all that it can entail. 

I want to take a moment here to say that we do not cloth diaper 100% of the time. We use disposables for night time and when we take long trips. And whenever it gets too overwhelming, we take a break. This is part of what makes cloth diapering simpler for us, and I think that not having an all-or-nothing mindset when it comes to cloth diapering has helped us to be successful with it. So if cloth diapering is something you’re interested in, but you don’t feel like you can do it all day every day, that’s okay. You can still definitely save money by cloth diapering only part time.

The names of different cloth diaper types used to really intimidate me, but it’s all actually not all that complicated. You can find tons of posts explaining the different kinds of cloth diapers currently on the market, but I’m going to stick to pocket diapers and covers with prefolds because those are what has worked well for my family in trying to cloth diaper as simply as possible. There are lots of different diaper combos (and certainly more expensive brands), and wash routines that work well for many families; however, we’ve found these are the products and routines that work for us. 

1. Pocket diapers 

Pocket diapers are what some people call the “modern cloth diaper.”  These are an easy option because they function much like a disposable diaper in that there’s no folding or special pins; you simply adjust the rise and waist buttons to fit your baby. If your baby goes to a daycare or your partner is on the fence about cloth diapering, pocket diapers are probably your best bet. Pocket diapers are named as such because they have an opening in the back of the diaper into which you stuff an absorbent insert, usually made of microfiber, bamboo, hemp, cotton, or charcoal. The two brands we use the most are Alvababy and Wegreeco. 

Alvababy pocket diapers have lasted us two years now with no noticeable wear or damage. They do come with microfiber inserts which is not my favorite material since they can be prone to compression leaks if you have a heavy wetter. Our first daughter has used these diapers for almost 2 years with no issues, but our second daughter is a heavy wetter and does not do as well with the microfiber inserts. The nice thing about the Alvababy packs we got was that they came with 6 diapers and 12 inserts, so if you need to double stuff, you can, and then you have extras on hand if needed. Like I said, I don’t love the inserts that come with these, but the diapers themselves are top notch and have the cutest designs! Bonus: you can get most Alvababy packs for under $40, and even some for under $30! Click here to check out Alvababy baby diapers on Amazon.

These are some of my favorite Alvababy pocket diaper prints from our collection

Wegreeco pocket diapers are my new favorite. They come with bamboo inserts, which I’ve found to be much more absorbent. We’ve been using these pocket diapers for almost 6 months now, and they are holding up just as well as any of the other brands we’ve used. Some things I love about Wegreeco diapers is that they come in at less than $40 per pack and come with a travel wet bag, so you can cut out that extra expense if you’re planning to use cloth diapers at daycare or while you’re out and about. Click here to check out Wegreeco diapers. 

These are some of my favorite Wegreeco pocket diaper prints from our collection

2. and 3. Diaper Covers and Prefolds

Diaper covers with prefolds are honestly my favorite type of cloth diaper. I wish I wouldn’t have been so intimidated by them in the beginning because they’re really not very complicated; however, they’re definitely not as easy to deal with for other caregivers, so this is something to keep in mind if your babies go to daycare. What I love most about diaper covers is that most come with double gussets which is a game changer for heavy wetters. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had either of our kids leak out of one of these diapers. The covers we use look much like the pocket diapers from the outside, but they’re just the water resistent PUL lining (polyurethane laminate), without the microsuede pocket. You have to use preflats, prefolds (what we use), or some other absorbent material inside the diaper cover. Another big positive for me in using this diaper combo is that if the diaper cover itself isn’t soiled, you can usually just replace the prefold and use the cover again–less diaper laundry is always a win in my book.

Pictured here are the cover and prefold side-by-side before and after getting it ready to put on baby: 

Our favorite diaper covers are from BabyGoal.  Their packs are under $30, super cute, feature double gussets, and each set comes with a travel wet bag. Click here to check them out. 

We love the OSOCozy brand for prefolds. They’re super durable and don’t hold odors. 

Pro-tip: If you choose to use disposable diapers while you travel, using a diaper cover over a disposable diaper is a great way to prevent any blowouts, leaks, and any other diaper-related mishaps while traveling.

Pictured here are a diaper cover with a prefold (left) and a pocket diaper with an insert (right).

4. Small wet bags for diaper bag 

These are a diaper bag essential for cloth diapering. Toss one into your bag each time you head out or send your baby to a sitter. These Alvababy wet bags work really well, and do a great job of keeping odors to a minimum, but depending on what brand of cloth diapers you buy, you may not need to buy travel wet bags separately.

5. Pail liner

These are basically just big wet bags that you put inside whichever pail or hamper you decide to use. These are also just nice to have on hand, especially when you travel (even without cloth diapers) because you can use them as laundry bags as well. We use and love these Alvababy pail liners.

6. Diaper pail or hamper

Just like it is with disposables, you’ll need something to keep dirty diapers in that won’t stink up your entire house. We use the Dekor Plus Hands-Free Diaper Pail. It’s super easy to change out the pail liner on laundry days, and it keeps odors to a minimum. Some people use regular laundry hampers with a lid, though, which could certainly be a cheaper option.

7. Diaper Detergent

Unless you already use a powder laundry detergent, you will likely have to use a different laundry detergent for cloth diapers than what you currently use on your clothes. Lots of people use Tide original powder for cloth diapers, but we love Rockin’ Green Dirty Diaper detergent. One package lasts us at least a month and a half to two months, and we currently have two babies in cloth diapers. We’ve never had a problem with retained odors, and it’s never caused any irritation on either of our girls.   

8. Drying rack 

While you certainly can put all parts of these cloth diapers in the dryer, it is recommended to hang dry diaper covers and pockets to preserve the elastic and PUL lining. Luckily, they air dry super quickly because of the material, and they are almost always completely dry before our inserts and prefolds are finished in the dryer. We use a small foldable drying rack like this one, but I’ve seen a lot of people use hanging racks with clips like the one in this link, which can be a really nice space-saving option if you have the set up for it. 

9. Storage

Depending on your living situation, there are lots of different options for storage. We use this rolling cart for diaper storage and love it! It’s easy to just roll it with me wherever I’m stuffing diapers after laundering and put them straight on the cart. These rolling carts are also just super versatile, so we can totally use it for something else once our kids are all out of diapers. Click here to check out the rolling cart we use. 

Wash Routine and Extras

Our wash routine is very simple. We wash one cycle in hot water, and a second cycle in cold, both cycles get an extra rinse. To dry, we put inserts and prefolds in the dryer, and hang covers and pockets on the drying rack. Some people recommend more intense washing cycles and checking your water hardness, etc., but in the almost two years we’ve been cloth diapering, we’ve lived in three different houses, with three different washers, and we’ve never had a single issue with this wash routine. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

If you want to do cloth wipes, they are an eco-friendly and cheap option. We were gifted some Bumkins flannel wipes, but if you have extra flannel receiving blankets, cutting those into squares works just as well! To wet the wipes, we use Baby Bits wipe solution. You can store your wipes wet or dry. Since we only use cloth wipes every once in a while, we keep the wipes dry and keep the solution in a spray bottle to use when needed.

I’m often asked, “But what do you do with poop? Isn’t that gross?”

I’d hate to be the one to tell you, but if you have a baby, you’re going to have to deal with poop, regardless of your choice to use cloth diapers or disposable diapers. As far as poop in cloth diapers goes, if your baby is exclusively breastfed, their poop is water soluble, and nothing special needs to be done—you just throw it into the wet bag or diaper pail with everything else. Once baby starts solids, or if they’re formula fed, just knock solids into the toilet. Sometimes for poops that are not-so solid, we’ll use this diaper sprayer as well, but it’s definitely not a necessity. 

If you’re interested in cloth diapers or new to the cloth diapering game, I hope this was helpful for you. Feel free to leave any questions in the comments or hit me up on Instagram @theanxiousmom.diaries!

Here’s our littlest fluff butt (ft one sockless foot) in a BabyGoal cover and OsoCozy Prefold